– Which one?
– The baldy one with the funny glasses.
– Joyce?
– Don’t be thick. Joyce wasn’t bald. I’m talkin’ about the one who wrote The Commitments.
– Wasn’t that a fillum, but?
– It was a book first. Do yeh know annythin’? Hang on – I have it now, yer man’s name – Roddy Doyle.
– Oh yeah. Wha’ abou’ him?
– Well, he’s at it again.
– At wha’?
– The writin’, like.
– Fuck sake. Does he ever stop?
– Don’t think so. There’s a word for that, y’know.
– Glutton for punishment?
– No. Prolific. Annyway, that’s three words.
– So what’s he writin’ abou’ this time?
– Another one of those Two Pints books. A sequel, like.
– Yeah, what’s it abou’, but?
– It’s a collection of conversations between two auld fellas, chewin’ the fat over a few pints of the black stuff.
– Sounds familiar, wha’?
– Yeah, ‘cept these two don’t talk shite like us. Well, not much. Annyway, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all tha’.
– So what are they talkin’ abou’, these two pint drinkers?
– Important stuff … like abortion, and the Pope, and Seamus Heaney …
– Who’s tha’?
– …and Richard III, and a topless Kate Middleton.
– Wouldn’t mind readin’ that one.
– Listen, would yeh? These two fellas are suppin’ away and philosophizin’ to beat the band. They really get yeh thinkin’.
– Insightful, like?– Yeah. And funny too. Gas. They don’t think much of Bono, though.
– Sure, who does? ‘Cept Bono himself, like.
– True. I reckon auld Roddy is one of the lads. Despite all the writin’.
– I’d say you’re right there. Sound, like. Wouldn’t mind havin’ a pint with him myself.
– Speakin’ of which. Another one?
Two More Pints by Roddy Doyle is published by Jonathan Cape on 11 September 2014
With thanks to http://www.welovethisbook.com for the review copy.
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